Why Rest Feels Like Resistance
The Self-Care Dilemma Black Women Face
I was on a tour this past weekend when I heard the quote, "When hustle is your drug, rest feels like resistance. " I could resonate with that on a deeper level than I’d like to admit. It got me thinking about how deeply ingrained the notion of constant hustle is in our society, especially within the Black community.
For many of us working 9 to 5 jobs while side hustling, going to school, or raising families, the idea of rest and self-care can feel like something we haven't yet earned. However, it's also a message that has been ingrained in many Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC) for centuries.
The idea that we can't ever be seen as lazy, ignorant, or uneducated plays into the notion that we can't afford to rest. If we’re seen resting, the idea is that we’ll be labeled as “welfare queens” (insert side eye at Reagan) or viewed as cheating the system. The harsh reality is that the fear of these labels prevents us from embracing the rest and self-care we desperately need. It’s also why I stand ten-toes down in saying that self-care isn’t optional - it’s non-negotiable.
Why Self-Care is Nonnegotiable
When I decided to kick off a four-part Falling Into Wellness series, I needed the first part to explore why self-care isn't just a luxury—it's a necessity, especially for Black women. The very idea of self-care as self-preservation is crucial in a world that constantly demands more from us than we can give. Here’s why:
1. The Myth of the Strong Black Woman
For generations, Black women have been expected to be pillars of strength, often at the expense of our well-being. This expectation is rooted in both cultural norms and societal expectations. We’ve been conditioned to put others last, which leaves us feeling depleted, leading to burnout, chronic stress, and a myriad of health issues.
2. Health Disparities Aren’t a Figment of Our Imagination
Black women are disproportionately affected by health disparities, including higher rates of hypertension, diabetes, and maternal mortality. These conditions are often exacerbated by chronic stress and lack of adequate self-care. That’s why prioritizing self-care is essential in mitigating these risks and ensuring long-term health and wellness.
3. Cultural Stigma Keeps Us From Resting
In many BIPOC communities, the idea of rest or self-care can be stigmatized as laziness or selfishness. This cultural stigma can make it difficult for Black women to prioritize their own needs without feeling guilty or ashamed. But the reality is that self-care is an act of self-preservation—ensuring we are well enough to continue our work for ourselves and our communities.
4. Rest is Our Birthright
Rest is not a reward—it’s a right. It's a necessary part of maintaining mental and physical health. Rest gives us the space to recharge and return with renewed energy and focus. For Black women, rest is an act of resistance against a society that has historically devalued our time and our well-being.
5. Self-care Isn’t Solely for the Rich
It's time to reframe the narrative around self-care. Instead of seeing it as an indulgence, we need to view self-care as a crucial aspect of our health strategy. This includes setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and creating time for activities that nourish our body, mind, and spirit.
What You Can Do About It
Now that we've established why self-care is nonnegotiable let's discuss how to incorporate it into your life, especially when it feels like the last thing you have time for.
1. Start Small
Incorporate small acts of self-care into your daily routine. This could be as simple as taking a few minutes each morning to meditate, journal, or sit silently. As we know, consistent steps will have a significant impact over time.
2. Set Boundaries
Learn to say no without guilt. We must set clear boundaries with work, family, and friends. Don't expect others to uphold your boundaries if you’re not upholding them. Remember the old saying, "You can’t pour from an empty cup."
3. Seek Support
Surround yourself with a community that will support your need for self-care. Whether it's friends, family, or a professional support group, having people who encourage you to prioritize your well-being can make a difference.
4. Prioritize Rest
Make rest a priority, not an afterthought. Schedule regular downtime in your calendar just as you would any other necessary appointment. Whether it's a weekly digital detox or a daily nap, find what works for you and stick to it.
How did you find this first installment of our Falling Into Wellness series?
Let us know your thoughts, and help us create content that genuinely supports you!
Ready to take the next step in your wellness journey? Subscribe to the EBWH Community Newsletter today to stay informed, inspired, and equipped with the tools you need to prioritize your health and well-being. Join a community committed to enhancing the lives of Black women through education, encouragement, and equitable healthcare practices.
Talk soon,
Tomesha